Aging should not hinder older adults and seniors from having an active and satisfying sex life. Contrary to what most people believe, sex is not just for young couples. Everyone desires to feel loved and receive affection. In fact, a lot of seniors continue to be sexually active even after 80 years old.According to recent studies, more and more seniors have reported an improved sex life as they age. While the body may not be as limber as it used to be, there are still a lot of ways you can have a fulfilling and enjoyable sex life. One must pay close attention and learn how to adapt to the changing needs of your body in order to make senior sex a little more pleasurable.Here are some tips to make senior sex more enjoyable and satisfying:Do not rush it. Take your timeOur body changes as we age. Seniors who want to continue to be sexually active need to learn how to adapt to these changes. When it comes to becoming aroused, it still pays to be patient and to take your time. It is important to allow yourself and your partner to build the excitement. Snuggling, hugging, kissing, massaging, and caressing will help you set the mood. Remember not to rush it. Take time to create a romantic ambiance and allocate more time -lots of time for foreplay in order to make sexual intercourse more pleasurable. Remember, if you want to enjoy and be satisfied, do it nice and s-l-o-w.Communicate. Communicate. Communicate.Communication is key. The more you talk to one another, the easier it is for your partner to know your feelings, expectations and desires. Tell him or her what makes you feel good in order to make sex more satisfying and enjoyable. Your partner wants to please you as well, so he or she will listen to what you like. In most cases, talking about sex and foreplay can make you feel sexy and easily turned on. So speak up, don’t be shy. Be direct.Explore and be creativeSpice it up a notch by exploring more options that can help give you more pleasure like engaging in oral sex, masturbation, using sex toys and finding new intercourse positions. Be creative and experiment with different positions until you find the ones that will please you and your partner.Learn to adjustBecause of the aging process, having sex can be challenging. This is due to all the physical, mental and emotional changes you go through. However, learning how to adapt to these changes will help make senior sex not only easier but also more enjoyable.Age-related changes are different for men and women. For senior men, erectile dysfunction may be a problem because of the decrease in hormone levels. If this is an issue, talk to your physician about erectile dysfunction or other erection problems to get advice and treatment. If medication is prescribed, it is important to ask about possible side effects that may affect not only your sexual relationship, but your body as well.For senior women, vaginal dryness may be an issue. If this is the case, don’t worry. There is a wide-variety of over-the-counter water-based lubricants available for purchase, including those with different scents, flavors, colors, etc. Lubricants will help relieve vaginal dryness to make sexual intercourse more comfortable and pleasurable.Stay healthy and fitEating healthy and exercising regularly are key ingredients that will help seniors look younger, feel better and enjoy life even more. Health and fitness can also help improve your sex life by giving you the strength you will need to last longer during sexual intercourse.Eat a balanced diet and include lots of fruits and vegetables in your meal. It is also important to limit your alcohol-intake as it may decrease sexual arousal. Based on research, too much alcohol may cause erectile problems for men and women may experience difficulty in reaching an orgasm.Check with your doctorDue to the aging process, there are a lot of things that can interfere with being sexually active. As you approach your golden years, you may experience more and more physical ailments like high blood pressure, heart disease, diabetes and other medical conditions, which can make you less interested in sex.Medications may interfere with sexual function as well. If sexual problems, including erectile dysfunction, arise due to these conditions, consult your doctor to receive proper medication. Be sure to discuss your medical condition, any prescription questions or possible medication side effects with your physician. It is advisable to take your partner when you talk to your doctor so you can both understand and learn how to resolve the your sexual circumstances together. By doing this, not only will the both of you become more understanding of each other’s needs and limitations, but also sex and the relationship will become more meaningful and special.Keep that spark aliveSpending quality time with your loved one is the best way to keep the spark alive. Try to set aside time for each other so you can do things together. Perhaps watch a movie, go out to a romantic dinner, plan a weekend getaway, or simply cuddle in bed. Try to remember the feeling when you first started dating and the things that made you fall in love with each other. These things will definitely help set the mood.As you get older, you need to be aware and ready to adapt to the changing needs of your bodies in order to make senior sex more satisfying and enjoyable. Remember, age should not be a hindrance to having an active and satisfying sex life.Copyright © 2009 La Dolce Living, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
If you think The Talk is going to be about sex, remember that by definition a semi-adult is at least 18 years of age. If by age 18 you are not having an on going rapport with your child about all aspects of sexuality, either you are raising your family in one of the subcultures of American society in which sex and sexuality belong in marriage and you don’t need that rapport yet or you are a fool.The topic for The Talk we are having with our semi-adult child who resides in our home is: How do adults live together under one roof. To be accurate its Talks, not Talk. Her father and I have been living together under one roof for 25 years. It took awhile for us to figure how to live happily together. Occasionally we still hit a bump (when he removed the 13 year olds Friday night bedtime without a word to me was a recent minor bump). It is to be expected that it will take awhile for her also. The trouble is while she is learning how to live like an adult with other adults, we have to endure the process.Take money. This is a very hard concept for out semi-adult to grasp; the Bank of MOM is closed. We expect that if we loan you money you will pay us back…first. Before you buy new clothes, before you go to the movies. We are very glad you tithe, but you still need to pay us back. It should be noted that when I borrow money from you, I always pay you back usually before you have to come hunting for your money.Take caring for shared spaces: The counter fairy (a relative of the tooth fairy, takes dishes off counters instead of teeth from under pillows) has retired. You use the kitchen to make chocolate chip cookies at 3 am; you clean it up and make sure you leave some cookies for mom and dad to try. I do not complain about having no sugar, flour or chocolate chips because I know how to live with other adults and I like cookies.Take respecting others schedule: I do the family’s wash on Monday and Tuesdays. My house, my schedule, on this one, my way. We have four people getting out of the house in the morning and one shower: you cannot decide to change your shower time without consulting anyone else and you don’t get to wake me up if dad has cut into your shower time by less than 7 minutes. Living with other adults is not always fair.Take “borrowing” others possessions: Adults do not take items from other people’s bedrooms without permission. You don’t borrow your sister’s shirt or my socks without asking. Yes, she does that to you but again note, neither your father nor I “borrow” from you or your siblings without asking first. The exception: Flip-flops left next to the shoebox instead of instead of in it can be borrowed at will.The Talks generally go well. Occasionally we get rolled eyes (you can’t tell another adult not to roll her eyes at you), huffy behavior or tears. The message usually doesn’t sink in the first time. There is still a bit of teen selfishness and listening for loopholes in our semi-adult. There is still a bit of I’m the parent, do it my way in how we communicate with our resident semi-adult.We are all learning.
Adults approach learning differently than children. While a child may accept an authority figure in the classroom imparting knowledge, the adult is not.Often published articles about music instruction and playing refer to children and their psychological and educational development compared to students that do not study music. How an adult learns is an important issue to consider while formulating music instruction.Some areas to contemplate if you are studying music or teach music to adults are:Self-DirectionAdults generally assume independence and expect to take part in the process of developing instruction as well as an active position in the evaluation of their performance. They prefer to work at their own pace in the areas they choose and feel that their “grade” or result should match their expectations of what they should receive.The best avenue of instruction for an adult then is not a large classroom with an authoritative instructor but either through independent study, where they in a sense act as the student and the instructor themselves, or one-on-one with a respectful tutor that facilitates the attainment of knowledge.Level of Physical ComfortKindergarten students may sit around in a circle on the floor or a high school student may concede to sit in a small desk with a hard wooden seat, but adults prefer and demand comfort. Some adults are set in their ways so to speak, they “like it how they like it,”period.To address the desired comfort level of adults either the classroom accommodates, or they choose to hire a tutor to instruct in their home or they learn through an independent course at home. They might also want to consider the instrument they choose in relation to how it is played. For example, a smoker that gets winded quickly might have more success learning the guitar or piano as opposed to a wind instrument like a saxophone or trombone.Insecurity or EmbarassmentSome adults are uncomfortable learning new things or not knowing how to do things. In their employment or at home, they may feel confident about their abilities and problem solving skills but in a new situation, they may feel inadequate or awkward. To counteract these feelings of insecurity, embarrassment or inadequacy adults usually overcompensate by trying to do everything perfectly, they ask the instructor many probing questions to try to focus information and requirements, and take their time to accomplish tasks in order to avoid mistakes.In music instruction, the adult wants all the information they can get a hold of, they are less inclined to try things without some kind of knowledge base. Whereas a child may blow into a trumpet and not worry about how badly it sounds, whether they know how to read the music or where to put their fingers, they do it just for fun, adults want to master it and not “make a fool of themselves.”The instructor or teaching method needs to be able to respond to the adults’ intense need for detail and affirmation. While an adult may do well in a formal education setting for a music theory or history class, when in comes to playing an instrument private instruction is a better choice to put the student at ease and allows for plenty of inquiries.Prior Experience and ApplicationYoung students have few experiences to afford them the ability to imagine a ‘real life’ application of knowledge. Adults may have decades of knowledge and experiences brought into the classroom with them and they can see how information may apply to other aspects of their life or to other areas of study.When an adult is learning to play music, they want to be able to apply their knowledge and experiences. So many adults do not desire to learn music just for the sake of it, but to be able to play at their church or in a band or to compose their own music. They come to learn music with a goal and prior expectations.Adults that desire to learn music are goal oriented, exercise autonomy, and require respect and comfort. So if you are planning to learn a new skill, such as playing the piano, or you are a teacher planning your curriculum consider the unique requirements of the adult student.References:Kearsley, Greg. Explorations in Learning & Instruction: The Theory into Practice Database Andragogy (M. Knowles). http://tip.psychology.org/knowles.html>Lieb, Stephen. Principle of Adult Learning. http://honolulu.hawaii.edu/intranet/committtees/FacDevCom/guidebk/teachtip/adults-2.htm>Smith, M. K. planning your curriculum ‘Malcolm Knowles, informal adult education, self-direction and anadragogy’, the encyclopedia of informal education. http://www.infed.org/thinkers/et-knowl.htm.>